Has your brain been idled, too?

A Whiter Shade Of Pale

For years I thought the line in A Whiter Shade of Pale was
"But I wandered through my playing cards without the letter B" instead of
"But I wandered through my playing cards and would not let her be" (Geoff Welch)

We skipped the last fandango (We skipped the light fandango)
And so we watched, and later (And so it was that later)

There are several more good mishearings at the 'Kiss This Guy' archive:
The way to board the train (The waiter brought a tray) [read the full account]
I was feeling kind of sissy (I was feeling kind of sea-sick) [read the full account]
Sixteen vested versions who were leaving for the post (Sixteen vestal virgins who were leaving for the coast) [read the full account]

from the lyric sheet with Japanese "A Whiter Shade Of Pale/Lime Street Blues"

Love's sweeter in the afternoon … (Lime Street in the afternoon …)
Open that door to Boys Town … (Orphan or not you're going down …) (thanks, Tormod)

Homburg

misheard: "And the sun and moon will shudder" actual: "And the sun and moon will shatter."

Misheard: "And the sun dial won't shadow." Actual: "And the sun and moon will shatter".

There's a good mishearing at the 'Kiss This Guy' archive:
Like a seagull basted in wine (I can see no maze to unwind) [read the full account]

Gary Brooker told BtP's RC that his favourite mishearing of all was from the first track of the first album: that song that starts off, 'Come, kiss the door' ...

Something Following Me

misheard: "a slab of ink-gray marble." actual: "a slab of engraved marble"

Mabel

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "Eatin' fresh fried chicken on new mowed sand and big red beans eatin' out of your hand" actual: "Even fresh fried chicken on new mown sand can't beat red beans eaten outta your hand"

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "don't slice no one." actual: "don't slice no onions."

Cerdes (Outside the Gates of)

actual: carnations into wreaths for ailing whales
misheard : conditions in the reed spoiling wind (thanks, Marvin)

actual: but Sousa Sam can only hear the screams of Peep the Sot
who only sips his creme de menthe from terra cotta cups

misheard: but Sousa Sam can only hear screams of "Beat the Sox!"
while Morley sips his creme de menthe ... (Peter Hummers)

Outside the Gates of Cerdes, sits a troop ground for the call
plays at relaxation time, grinds stones through the hall
while mermaids lace carnations, in their respoiling wails
Neptune dances horn pipes, while Salome snares her veils.

Phallus Field tries peddling, secure the painted path
but soon the sand could only hear, screams I'll beat these odds,
Moroni sips his Creme de Menthe from terracota cups,
and exhales menthol scented breath, whilst you here try a little gum.

Down technical blind alleys, lives a race upon the trees
who grief throughout the cross limbs, are no longer what they seem
and even Christian Scientists cant but display marble flags,
joining retail legends, whilst my eyes reach out for facts.

Yeah, my eyes reach out for facts.

'I thought the line was "Geordie Retail Legends", rather than Joining Retail Legends (see above).

'I wondered why someone from Newcastle would be considered a retail legend, so I Googled and found I was wrong'.

The real words of course are here ... 'Which only re-tell legends ...' (thanks, Stuart Hunter)
 

Kaleidoscope

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "There is no hope for Jack and Jude" actual: "There is no whole which I can choose"

Good Captain Clack

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "And since I have one brain I'm content to simply clear the tea." actual: "And of sense I have one grain I'm content sipping lemon tea."

Misheard: "Still scouting black, Good Captain Clack, mustard his humble part." Actual: "Still scowling black, Good Captain Clack must eat his humble pie."

Shine on Brightly

misheard: "The chandelier in Sinful Swing" actual: "The chandelier is in full swing."

A Salty Dog

misheard: "Now many moons and many Junes have passed in sweetening life" actual: "Have passed since we made land"
misheard: "How many moons and many Junes have passed since we made LOVE"

I know (writes ace musician Steve Hunter) people have been mishearing Procol Harum lyrics for decades. A Salty Dog contains one of mine....

'Replace the cook, that no one even liked ...'

I thought that that was the lyric for many many years!
Misheard: 'let no-one leave alive'

The Milk of Human Kindness

misheard: "And you left me for once without escape. Tell all the folks back home that he did it on his own and that to their World War cares they should feign".

actual: "And you left me for a wasp without a sting. Tell all the folks back home that he did it on his own, And that to their well-worn cares they should cling."

actual: 'To their well-worn cares they should cling'
misheard: 'the two there were won't care (or 'once there'), they should think.' (thanks, Marvin)

Misheard: "Let him who fears his horror alone ..."
Actual: 'Let him who fears his heart alone …'

And this from R Farabee:

The Devil Came from Kansas

misheard: "There's a monkey riding on my back in there for summertime." actual: "There's a monkey riding on my back, been there for some time."

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "Though I never came from Kansas, don't you wish sometimes you could" actual: "No I never came from Kansas Don't forget to thank the cook"

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "I was washed on down by luck For the tarmac and the signboards and the road which takes you down" actual: "I was lost but now I look For the turning and the sign post And the road which takes you down."

misheard: 'The Devil Came from Kansas' (Keith Reid)
actual 'Since you're the delegate from Kansas / Will you kindly take the floor / And tell us what Kansas is thinking / And what is Kansas for?' ('The Beehive State' by Randy Newman (1968)

Wreck of the Hesperus

misheard: "The Symmetry. It calls to me" actual: "The cemetery it calls to me."

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "burnt by fire, by an insight, lost in the night." also misheard as: "burnt by fire, blind in sight, lost in ire" actual: "Burnt by fire, Blind in sight, Lost in light"

NB since Ron compiled this page Keith Reid has checked the words for this album and, lo again, 'burnt by fire, blind in sight, lost in ire' turns out to be what he wants us to hear! (thanks, Matt, for your verbal vigilance)

All This and More

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "If at times my nod seems compromise, then I'll stand trial" actual: "And if at times my nonsense rhymes, then I'll stand trial ."

misheard: "for love is like a poison" and "for love is life not poison"
supposedly actual: "For love is like vile poison."

NB since this page was compiled Keith Reid has checked the words for this album and, ho, 'for love is life not poison' turns out to be what he wants us to hear!

misheard: "and maybe then begin again, for love is like Budweiser"
actual: "and maybe then begin again, for love is life, not poison" (thanks, Walter M Senko)
 

Crucifiction Lane

misquoted in Japanese Procol Harum CD booklet: "all my sick is in my stomach, all my sweat is beneath here" actual: "all my sick is in my stomach, all my sweat is clearly fear."

Misheard: "all my sick is in my stomach; all my sweat is clearly beer."

actual: "all my sick is in my stomach, all my sweat is clearly fear."

Pilgrim's Progress

misheard: "In searching like the sycophants of learning" actual: "In searching I forsook the paths of learning

misquoted in Japanese CD booklet: "at first I sought my way to be an author. I gathered up my fears to write me down." actual: "At first I took my weight to be an anchor, and gathered up my fears to guide me round"

Dead Man's Dream

misheard: "Everywhere life. Yet darkness engulfed me."
actual: "Everywhere light. Yet darkness engulfed me."  

Misheard: "I'll foul all the valleys; trample the leaves."

Actual: 'I'll foul all the fountains and trample the leaves'

Misheard: 'I sing in a voice' (quoted as song-title in setlist here)

Actual: 'I'll sing in the forest'

Nothing That I Didn't Know

misheard: Did you hear what happened to Jenny Drew? Strike me dead, make it a truce

actual: Did you hear what happened to Jenny Drew? Strike me dead, for making it true

misheard: "Once I stood upon a lamp post." Actual: "Once I stood upon Olympus"

Piggy Pig Pig

misheard: "Counted out and tossed."
actual: "count it out in tolls."

Whaling Stories

misheard: "Pale, unwell after sixteen days." actual: "Pailing well after sixteen days."

misheard "From one serf to all the traitors. Pick this self and selves in check." and/or "From one surf to all the traders..."
actual: "Rum was served to all the Traitors. Pygmies held themselves in check."

misheard: "Bloodhounds doze around the houses" actual: "Bloodhounds nosed around the houses."

misheard: "Shakespeare's strung, the pot was boiling." actual: "Six bells struck, the pot was boiling."

misheard: "Rum was served to all the Traitors.  Pygmies they themselves ingest."
actual: "Rum was served to all the Traitors.  Pygmies held themselves in check."(thanks, Walter M Senko)

Simple Sister

misheard: "Simple sister! God, who be caught?" actual: "Simple Sister got whooping cough."

Apicej@aol.com writes in: the first time I heard this song from Broken Barricades was during a live performance by Procol Harum. From that day on and because there are no lyrics for Simple Sister on the album jacket, I heard 'Sinful Sister'. When I bought the album and saw "Simple" I remember looking at it and actually saying "What's this?" I was a little disappointed. It was the only misinterpretation I ever made. Hell, I took the title and wrote my own Sinful Sister.

Broken Barricades

misheard: "How many splendors in each separate band?" actual: "How many splinters in each separate band?"

misheard: "The seaweed and the cobwebs embroidered your sword" actual: "The seaweed and the cobweb, have rotted your sword "

Memorial Drive

misheard: "sell a photo Bible" actual: "Cellar full of diamonds"

misheard: "Cellar full of tyros: tell a fool to go!" actual: "Cellar full of diamonds: turret full of gold"

Song for a Dreamer

misheard: "We will lie inside the ocean and ski." actual: "We will lie inside the ocean and scheme."

Nothing But the Truth

misheard: "and hipped up knees up bitterness." actual: "and heaped up leaves of bitterness"

misheard: "But just before the final stroke, it's in the scriptures Walter wrote"
actual: "But just before the final stroke, they took us victims of the rope" (thanks, Walter M Senko)

For the longest time I've always heard the chorus of "As Strong as Samsom" as:
"Weakest man be strong as Samson, when you're bidding him to write a song."

Considering the context of the lyric, I was disappointed when I discovered Keith Reid's actual words:
"Weakest man be strong as Samson, when you're being held to ransom."
I like my 'imagined' version better! It says that all the world's ills can be cured through music. (Ronald Sarkisian)

misheard "When you're dealing Heroin to rabbits son..."
actual:  "When you're being held to ransom." (thanks, Walter M Senko)

Misheard: "The tale will start with 7Gs" for "They tell us that we're savages" (Jay Kuhn)

Misheard: "You got the gross proceeds, we got the gate" for "We got the groceries, you got the cake" (Jay Kuhn)

actual: A marble staircased plain

misheard: 'tomorrow's staircase to pain' and later on I thought it might have been 'tomorrow's cares taste plain' (thanks, Marvin)