Procol Harum

Beyond
the Pale

By any other name …

What to call the Palers' Band at Guildford 2000

As plans advanced for the musical element of the Palers' Convention in September 2000 at Guildford, the call went out for a name for the brave ensemble that will meet up to play gems from the Procolian Repertoire. Puns proliferated, songs were rifled, in-jokes were cracked … some were good, some were bad … some were merely attempts to get the participants to reveal themselves. But as Richard Beck observed, 'these madmen across the water will be virtually unrehearsed. Therein lies the crunch. Let us decide now that their talent, enthusiasm, and raw courage shall win the day.'

Have a look and a laugh at the list below, and please feel free (in August 2000!) to contribute more in the same spirit.

Allen Edelist ... he wasn't called 'One-Eye' until the Palers' Band met for the third time, in Manchester	Dr Robert's Boxers The Idols The Pilgrims Kaleidoscope The Conquistadors The Memorial Drivers These Old Cats The Bad Bloods Travellers In Time Cock Robin Picture Stories The New Riders of the Niagara Ghost Train The Real Attitudes Knights-Bridge (Har Har) and as the reunion party builds, DRUNK AGAIN!
Bert Saraco (Hurt, Sir Wocko)	So-called Harum Procol Near 'em Procol? Fear 'em Pros? No - Hear 'em
Beverly Peyton	The Dover Souls The Seaman's Log Your Idols Absurd Peach Flambé Boys Partners In Crime The Soled Dovers
Dave Ball	PH Imbalance
Dietmar 'Nik' Clever	The Kansas Devils Audience Torment ;-) Men with a mission Simple Brothers (OK, I don't know if a sister is among them... ;-) ) The Salty Dogs King Dave and the Knights of the Round Table
Dietmar Schoetel	Juicy John & the Pink Palers Beanstalk The Rag Of The Hesperus
Jens Anders Ravnaas	Madness in my autumn Nothing do they know Fools Old Strangers in panic Liquorice John and the tricks of the night
John Overall	The Stoked Poges Salad Daze Thin Widgets Repentant Walpurgians Bright Fires Pre-cool Harlem Brooker G & the MFs B J and the Bears (from the TV show....., in memoriam.) Autumn Madness (perfect for September!!)
Ken Willis	Madmen in Top Hats & Tails
Larry Pennisi	The Ailing Whales Garden Fence Eunuch Friends Grief and Laughter Last departing Birds Hapless Throats The Final Strokes Demons of the Night Fauxcol Harum Something Magic
Malène Lemoine	There is an embargo on French apples by the British, ("you don't want our beef, we won't take your apples" sort of things), so for the band, what about PRO POMMMES HARUM ? I also thought of PROS A LA RHUM
Marcelo Pereira	Multilingual Business Friends The One-Hit Wonders
Marvin Chassman	The Well Worn Cares Sousa Sam and the Christian Scientists Souvenirs of Guildford
Michael Vadic	Stetson Hatted Cats The Replaced Cooks Silver Paper Beggers The Eunuch Friends The Armour Plated Breasts King Jimi and the Zonophones Your Stallion Stands
Richard Beck	Pale Imitation Band Skating on Thin Ice Grown Mouldy through the Years Captain Clack & Ship to Shore Band Wailing Stories Jacques Loussier and the Rip-offs
Roland Clare	The Doubtful Guests
Ross Taylor	Harum Scarum if they did a set of 50s r'n'r and Peace in the Valley
Salty Scott	ProGo White Dog He's no Friend of Mine 16 Vestal Virgins
Sam Cameron	E-mailing Stories The Christmas Camels The Pipe Tuners Pandora's Boxing Shorts The Wizard Men The Wizened Men Something Stochastic The Salty Doggerel Brothers Jenny Luskus and the Delph Brothers Ragtime Band Groaned Hotel Guy Stevens's Pussy … is that a low enough standard?
Snake Robertson	The Prussian Blue Electric Clocks Judge Snide The Rusty Old Retainers Lost Thread Maddox and the Lollards Armand (Not Armand) or Armand (Not R Monde) Humble (Not Humble) ... with apologies to Was (Not Was) The Captain's Claque Jeez, when I get started, it's hard to stop.
Someone anonymous	The Dave Park 5
Terry Earlywine	Skip Softly and the Moonbeams
Tony Sadowski	Prodigal Players
Tormod Ringvold	The Multilingual Friends Gentlemen of Leisure & Women of Pleasure These Old Fat Cats

Postscript: of course none of these names caught on at all, and by some kind of consensus, on The Beanstalk, the band came to be known as The Palers' Band, simply – and correctly – because it was a band constituted of 'Palers', that is to say, people who had come together through reading the website, 'Beyond the Pale'. They could have been called 'Beyonders' of course; but 'Palers' rhymes with 'Whalers', already an established name for devotees of Michael Ackermann's 'Whaling Stories' (the international Gary Brooker Appreciation Society). Who coined the term 'Paler' is not certain, but it was certainly current at the time of the Australian gathering in 2000, and Roland from BtP used it in 1999 when referring to his liner-note for the BBC live CD. We suspect the term to be of Antipodean origin (see here). Pleasingly, therefore, the Palers' Band has a name somewhat equivalent to 'Procol Harum' in that its origins are foggy, it is hard to say, and incomprehensible to anybody who is not already in the know. Jens and Roland continue to be delighted by the number of people whom it annoys or confuses!

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