Procol Harum

the Pale

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By any other name …

What to call the Palers' Band at Guildford 2000

As plans advanced for the musical element of the Palers' Convention in September 2000 at Guildford, the call went out for a name for the brave ensemble that will meet up to play gems from the Procolian Repertoire. Puns proliferated, songs were rifled, in-jokes were cracked … some were good, some were bad … some were merely attempts to get the participants to reveal themselves. But as Richard Beck observed, 'these madmen across the water will be virtually unrehearsed. Therein lies the crunch. Let us decide now that their talent, enthusiasm, and raw courage shall win the day.'

Have a look and a laugh at the list below, and please feel free (in August 2000!) to contribute more in the same spirit.

Allen Edelist

... he wasn't called 'One-Eye' until the Palers' Band met for the third time, in Manchester

Dr Robert's Boxers
The Idols
The Pilgrims
The Conquistadors
The Memorial Drivers
These Old Cats
The Bad Bloods
Travellers In Time
Cock Robin
Picture Stories
The New Riders of the Niagara Ghost Train
The Real Attitudes
Knights-Bridge (Har Har)
and as the reunion party builds, DRUNK AGAIN!

Bert Saraco
(Hurt, Sir Wocko)

So-called Harum
Procol Near 'em
Procol? Fear 'em
Pros? No - Hear 'em

Beverly Peyton

The Dover Souls
The Seaman's Log
Your Idols Absurd
Peach Flambé Boys
Partners In Crime
The Soled Dovers

Dave Ball

PH Imbalance

Dietmar 'Nik' Clever

The Kansas Devils
Audience Torment ;-)
Men with a mission
Simple Brothers (OK, I don't know if a sister is among them... ;-) )
The Salty Dogs
King Dave and the Knights of the Round Table

Dietmar Schoetel

Juicy John & the Pink Palers
The Rag Of The Hesperus

Jens Anders Ravnaas

Madness in my autumn
Nothing do they know
Fools Old
Strangers in panic
Liquorice John and the tricks of the night

John Overall

The Stoked Poges
Salad Daze
Thin Widgets
Repentant Walpurgians
Bright Fires
Pre-cool Harlem
Brooker G & the MFs
B J and the Bears (from the TV show....., in memoriam.)
Autumn Madness (perfect for September!!)

Ken Willis

Madmen in Top Hats & Tails

Larry Pennisi

The Ailing Whales
Eunuch Friends
Grief and Laughter
Last departing Birds
Hapless Throats
The Final Strokes
Demons of the Night
Fauxcol Harum
Something Magic

Malène Lemoine

There is an embargo on French apples by the British, ("you don't want our beef, we won't take your apples" sort of things), so for the band, what about PRO POMMMES HARUM ?
I also thought of PROS A LA RHUM

Marcelo Pereira

Multilingual Business Friends
The One-Hit Wonders

Marvin Chassman

The Well Worn Cares
Sousa Sam and the Christian Scientists
Souvenirs of Guildford

Michael Vadic

Stetson Hatted Cats
The Replaced Cooks
Silver Paper Beggers
The Eunuch Friends
The Armour Plated Breasts
King Jimi and the Zonophones
Your Stallion Stands

Richard Beck

Pale Imitation Band
Skating on Thin Ice
Grown Mouldy through the Years
Captain Clack & Ship to Shore Band
Wailing Stories
Jacques Loussier and the Rip-offs

Roland Clare

The Doubtful Guests

Ross Taylor

Harum Scarum if they did a set of 50s r'n'r and Peace in the Valley

Salty Scott

White Dog
He's no Friend of Mine
16 Vestal Virgins

Sam Cameron

E-mailing Stories
The Christmas Camels
The Pipe Tuners
Pandora's Boxing Shorts
The Wizard Men
The Wizened Men
Something Stochastic
The Salty Doggerel Brothers
Jenny Luskus and the Delph Brothers Ragtime Band
Groaned Hotel
Stevens's Pussy … is that a low enough standard?

Snake Robertson

The Prussian Blue Electric Clocks
Judge Snide
The Rusty Old Retainers
Lost Thread
Maddox and the Lollards
Armand (Not Armand) or
Armand (Not R Monde)
Humble (Not Humble) ... with apologies to Was (Not Was)
The Captain's Claque Jeez, when I get started, it's hard to stop.

Someone anonymous

The Dave Park 5

Terry Earlywine

Skip Softly and the Moonbeams

Tony Sadowski

Prodigal Players

Tormod Ringvold

The Multilingual Friends
Gentlemen of Leisure & Women of Pleasure
These Old Fat Cats

Postscript: of course none of these names caught on at all, and by some kind of consensus, on The Beanstalk, the band came to be known as The Palers' Band, simply – and correctly – because it was a band constituted of 'Palers', that is to say, people who had come together through reading the website, 'Beyond the Pale'. They could have been called 'Beyonders' of course; but 'Palers' rhymes with 'Whalers', already an established name for devotees of Michael Ackermann's 'Whaling Stories' (the international Gary Brooker Appreciation Society). Who coined the term 'Paler' is not certain, but it was certainly current at the time of the Australian gathering in 2000, and Roland from BtP used it in 1999 when referring to his liner-note for the BBC live CD. We suspect the term to be of Antipodean origin (see here). Pleasingly, therefore, the Palers' Band has a name somewhat equivalent to 'Procol Harum' in that its origins are foggy, it is hard to say, and incomprehensible to anybody who is not already in the know. Jens and Roland continue to be delighted by the number of people whom it annoys or confuses!

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